After following a fair few new folk on Twitter and realising they all have Blogs, I spent most of my weekend browsing them and getting up to speed.
I read a post that I really empathised with and absolutely wanted to comment on but
a) for some reason, couldn't due to lack of technical ability and
b) had so much to say that I wasn't sure how to condense it down.
www.methemanandthebaby.com "online-friends"
The inspiring article is linked above.
There is a certain stigma about online relationships of any sort and have always felt slightly embarrassed to admit to "real world" friends that I have cyber ones. After giving birth 4 weeks ago, I was astonished that the ladies following me, on my fairly new Twitter account, were more interested, more supportive and more engaged about my pregnancy/newborn than any of my "real world" friends on my Facebook or than my family.
Mingled in with the "real" ones on FB are a few of my oldest "cyber" ones. The cyber ones being the "friends" that I can actually be myself with and say WHATEVER is on my mind. They have moved with me as my choice of social networking has developed, starting out as a random in a chatroom, moving to Myspace with me then finally committing on a proper friendship on FB! I have met some in the real world, but Facebook comes pretty close I think.
I remember feeling strange when I first accepted a friends request, from someone with an actual name (fore and sur) rather than RHChillibabe79 as I had previously known her and then ransacking her profile to see pictures of her family, friends and colleagues. All her anonymity vanishing within minutes.
I'm straying far from the point I wanted to make but in agreement with the lovely lady I have linked you to up there *points towards top of post,* I too have moved to a new town where I know very few people.
I also lost a majority of friends when I left my ex-husband-that-hasn't-died-in-a-car-crash. The remaining few either live in my hometown and they are not the type of friends I can 'fess anything to or are newishly acquired from returning to work after ex-husband-t-h-d-i-a-c-c and are young, free and single. They too are super smashing and I am grateful they are in my life, but I can't talk relationships and babies etc with them.
But this wonderful world wide web gives me the ability to befriend to my hearts content. But best of all, it gives me access to such a variety of people that I wouldn't necessarily have in the real world.
I already feel a slight panic that one of the ladies who I enjoy reading on Twitter is actually on a secret account and may revert back to her normal one shortly. What if I never get to read her Tweets again! I feel connected to her now after following her life for the past few months and her interacting with me and commenting on mine.
So to all the scaredy-cats out there, who dismiss the validity of net friends because they don't understand the value and think they have sufficient "real world" friends, I put to you...That you are not yet lucky enough to have discovered a random font that makes a difference to your life!
After all, a few years ago, receiving a random, (slightly pervy) email on FaceParty resulted in baby 4!
I met OH on the internet :)
Not that we tell anyone, well I don't. None of my friends or family know we met online. When asked by strangers last Friday during the Peter Kay gig, neither of us had the nerve to admit the truth and told them we were introduced by a friend.
Yes, our friend the Interweb!
I guess I am lucky to have an OH that understands my usage of the net and doesn't ridicule my interaction with nameless individuals who's opinions I look forward to and rely on.
Brilliant post. I totally agree. Have felt overwhelmed by the support from fellow Tweeters! Although I have a few friends that have children I don't know anyone else that's pregnant & think without the support of Twitter I would've felt quite lonely. I too hope that our fellow friend in disguise doesn't abandon us once she's had her baby! I also love reading other people's tweets & blogs, they make me feel like I'm "normal" (if any of us are?!) and I feel able to say anything, whereas on FB I don't express a lot anymore. Strange how we can share more of ourselves with people we don't actually know, but as you say they often show more interest! x
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry! *happy joyous tears!
ReplyDeleteYou explained it so much better then I ever could!! Such a lovely post! :D
I felt embarrassed earlier when I was talking to some girls at my mother & baby group, I was trying to talk to them about something associated with my blog/cyber world without mentioning my friends in the cyber world. I felt too ashamed too talk about my other life!
Since I started my blog I have made a few friends through M & B group but if I was honest I would rather talk/confide in my online friends as they are the ones that have been there since day one and know me probably even more then what my OH does!
My friends back home have forgotten me but too be honest I dont care anymore! I have these friends here which I know care about me , I'm meeting some online friends in the from of @glowstars & @urbanvox on Weds - me & my partner are driving to there house in London and whilst my partner stays with @urbanvox , me & @glowstars are going to a mummy blogger event which we got sent pr invitation too.
My excitement for this is rather crazy! I know I wont sleep Tues due to how happy I am to finally meet some of these people that have saved me from going crazy!! :D :D
And like you Im lucky to have a OH who understands why and how I use the net. He even signed up to twitter himself! He knows about my passion for my blog and Im grateful that he puts up with it! He knows if the housework hasnt been done then Ive been chatting away on twitter or getting too involved in blogging!
Im also lucky that Oli is used to me! He does his thing which is play with toys/destroy the house and I do mine! :)
Sorry I've rambled! You know what I mean & I know what you mean!!
xxxx
You've hit the nail on the head re: cyber friends. I became ill 10 years ago and had to give up work a few years ago due to disability. Over time I lost touch with my ex-workmates and my circle of friends narrowed down to my "true" friends who are willing to put up with the constraints my condition imposes. As my physical social world has become narrower, the cyber one has come into it's own and it makes me feel like I still have a good social life.
ReplyDeleteI joined Twitter relatively recently (last Dec) and since I became pregnant in Jan the support and advice I've had from Twitter friends has been invaluable. As you rightly say, it's so much easier to have a little grumble or to ask advice from virtual friends than ones who are physically stood next to you. There's no strings attached, no fall-out, just honest helpful, supportive replies.
I've just recently started reading a couple of blogs and again I really enjoy hearing about other people's lives, their joys and heartaches and life's journeys. I always find yours honest and thought-provoking and look forward to the next installment!