Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Part-Timer? Slacker? Bad Mother?

People have been asking me how long I will breastfeed for and I just respond with a shrug

I have to admit, I shuddered, lots, when watching an article on This Morning last week about someone breastfeeding their 5 year old.

I've never had a set plan for each baby and it has always varied in time-scale (never up to aged five.)


I'm not even a purist, I think the breast-feeders seem to snub me a little because I'm a mixer, a combination feeder and I don't even use breast milk in the bottles!

I admire those that can express milk, but it's just not me. I've tried using various hand pumps, electric pumps and also by hand. I either manage to get an ounce of milk or give up with frustration. The electric pump just making me feel like a dairy cow...a failed dairy cow!

Discussing weaning at a mum and baby group, I was shocked at how many said they express milk to mix with baby's rusk or porridge. I've never done that. I had visions of standing in the kitchen in my PJs, holding a bowl of powdered breakfast for my infant, then just wopping out tit and squeezing some milk into the bowl, before stirring.

I'm a lazy breast-feeder too, I mostly do it lying down, rather than holding baby at a particular angle and getting arm ache. If there isn't anywhere comfy to do it, I huff a little.  I also dislike doing it in the heat or when I'm in one of those claustrophobic moods were I don't want anyone near me, let alone attached to me.


It's strange, sometimes it feels such a privilege and I wonder if my OH is jealous that I have this specific ability to sustain and soothe and bond with our daughter. Other times it feels like a chore and I behave like a stroppy teenager or feel restrained or that I'm nothing more than food.


I don't mind feeding in public and would rather save my formula feeds for at home when OH can feed her and I can run free for a bit. Strangely I felt more comfortable feeding Indigo in a supermarket car-park last week, in view of groups of teenagers and the "trolley men" than I did in the mum and baby group.

I know everyone is different. I'm happy plodding along with breastfeeding most of the time and feeding formula, some of the time...I just don't know how long for?

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