After the rowing we had regarding him smoking after the baby was born and his promises to quit, I assumed he had.
Strangely, I seem to measure his love for the baby on his success on quitting.
He hasn't outright been lying as such. I haven't particularly asked him if he has caved and had a cigarette, other than asking him what he does now on his work breaks instead of smoking. His reply was to get a coffee. I guess that was deceitful.
The amount of mints he is currently eating is abnormal and I thought it was his way of quitting, replacing nicotine for fresh breath But it all hit me when he was getting frustrated trying to fix something online.
As soon as he finished, he said he was popping to the shop for munchies. It hit me clearly. He was going to buy cigarettes.
I asked him and he admitted it. The mints have been to hide the smell of smoke and he replied that he had been smoking in his car too, when questioned. He had been acting suspicious about me driving his car recently.
I AM angry about the smoking and feel that he has definitely been misleading, at best. Deceitful in leaving me to think that he had quit. Just because he didn't have to lie if i'd asked him directly.
Now I'm worried. We have struggled with trust issues before. I finally thought it was all pretty much cured. Now I feel like I need to be paranoid and check up on EVERYTHING, just in case!
I hope he understands that his actions have consequences. Now I feel like crap again.
((((hugs))))
ReplyDeletefirstly have a hug! and secondly although he has mislead you im sure he had your best intersts at heart! and giving up smoking must be hard especially if you have done it for a long time and i guess if he thought that you thought he had given up then life would be easier im guessing its a man thing! we have all done it with some thing or another. your right thogh it does throw trust issues up in the air but im sure that you can both overcome it and he can quit! hope all goes well
ReplyDelete:D