Feline Violation

So angry am I, at the event I have just witnessed.

Several weeks ago during the wee small hours, there was a cat based commotion. Our male tomcat Charlie charged up the landing yowling and banged into our bedroom door. OH and I had been drifting off to sleep but both definitely heard two cats scrapping. When OH opened the bedroom door, Charlie ran in and hid behind the curtains. We had assumed initially that he had been fighting with Dude.

Dude is our female cat. She is a beautiful, slutty, Persian cross and seems to have the attention of every male cat in our road. We have a massive amount of cats in our road and they are seemly all male. Our garden is the equivalent of a meat market nightclub. They all seem to be vying for her affection and we regularly find "gifts" of dead mice about the place.

After further investigation, Dude was nowhere to be found and couldn't have been in the house fighting with Charlie. We suspected another cat. Dude had just had her third litter of kittens. Could another cat come into the house to attack them?
The kittens had been moved from their nest in the living room and placed behind the sofa. Dude eventually came in through the kitchen window. We decided that she must have chased off another cat.

A similar thing happened again. Commotion during the night.

We have always had the odd bout of cat yowling and howling during the night outside our bedroom window followed by scuffling, but it seemed to increase that week.

I have never been a massive fan of Charlie and find him incredibly badly behaved but two weeks ago when I came downstairs to the living room and inhaled...I could have literally killed him.

On a day that the midwife was due, as were two of my friends from home to visit the baby, the whole house smelt of urine. He had sprayed everywhere! The hall, downstairs toilet, landing and living room. All the baby's stuff (carseat, moses basket stand etc) had to be taken away and aired. OH and I had to move every bit of furniture and disinfect it all. We used a full bottle of Dettel on the living room. I had 30 minutes before my friends arrived.

I was totally devastated. The smell is still here 2 weeks later. It's faint, but it's here. I have to apologise and explain to everyone that comes to the door. Charlie and Dude have been banished to the conservatory and as punishment the day after the house spraying, I took them both to be neutered.

The conservatory now stinks of cat urine. My OH and I have been bickering over the cats and If I'm honest, I have come very close to rehoming them. OH has suspicions though, that something untoward is going on. He investigated the origin of the smell in the conservatory and it is coming from his desk. The two PC monitors have sticky stains on and have been sprayed on. I was repulsed.

Sat here Tweeting I have just glimpsed through the patio window into the conservatory and seen Charlie wandering across the computer desk. Then I saw him squat near the monitor and his leg slowly rise. As I feel the rage building in me (I cannot move to chase him as Indie is asleep on my knee) It dawns on me that Charlie is looking usually chunky.

It wasn't him. It wasn't him that has just violated my home with that disgusting smell. It was his doppelgänger. A cat that we have seen floating about every now and then that looks incredibly like him.

I sit in shock and just watch as the cat mooches out of the conservatory door into our garden. 5 minutes later, Charlie and Dude skulk in and sniff the area that has just been sprayed. They look at each other then flop onto the cushion on the floor in a deflated fashion. They must feel so violated too.

I feel so guilty!

I shall make it up to them!

I feel so angry!

I shall get revenge and halt this doppelgänger!