Only Another Sex Post Isn't It

Technically, I had sex last night.

Well, maybe I am being overly generous when I call it sex, but it was a gentle, non scary, much appreciated start.

Lying in bed watching a dire horror film that got abandoned early, we snuggled up. It was a type of cuddle that I hadn't had for awhile. Completely turned into him with my face nestled into his neck, his arms around me and his legs encasing mine. It was super cold last night and he was super warm.
The best cuddle I have had for AGES. The type of cuddle that you can't really breathe too well during, but you don't want to move. The type of cuddle that you are not overly comfortable during, as your neck is slightly cricked and your hair is smothering your face, but you don't want to move.

We started doing "stuff" and I could feel the anxiety building. Where is this going to lead?

Normally, you are supposed to wait until your 6 week doctor check before having sex after giving birth, but according to most of my friends, it's taken them months to get back into it. The six weeks has always been enough for me but this time, I'm more terrified than hesitant, plus, it was only 4 weeks since she was born. Could be my age, or could be the fact she is my fourth attack on my pelvic floors or it could be my current relationship and not wanting to frighten or disappoint him.

Such an internal debate was going on.

This is me, I NEVER turn down sex! I am not one of those females, who isn't in the mood, can't because it's "time of the month" or has a headache. Even during a row, I would happily take a "time out" for a fuck. The day I say no to sex, is the day that there is a serious situation.

But I was too frightened and not ready to face the devastation of not being my usual.

The effort from my OH was great. Doing stuff that I LOVE, stuff that he hasn't done for AGES, stuff that I slag him off in my blog for not doing! So how could I say no after that? It would be like a huge slap in the face and could possibly prevent him doing that particular stuff any time soon again.

I finally gave in. He knows how I feel about the whole sex issue so I trusted him.

We dabbled and he didn't pressure me. I slowly relaxed and enjoyed it. There was definite contact between body bits, even if it wasn't for long. I was going to be explicitly blunt...but I have changed my mind and instead will be vague. He enjoyed it more when our body bits came into contact for a minute or two and I was pleased and finally chilled, so enjoyed it more when we were back to dabbling.

In my eyes, that was success. It wasn't too scary and I didn't burst into tears during it. He didn't react with shock or disappointment. We both got to cuddle and orgasm...happy times :)