Dilemma

Need advice really. OH isn't really vocal on it and best mate doesn't know what to say either.



Brief history
Left ex husband in late 2005/2006. Took me 9 months to get him out of the house as he refused to leave.
He became controlling and aggressive the last few years we were together. It got worse after I told him I no longer loved him and it was over.
A tense awkward relationship followed. He had been violent with me when we were together and it continued after we split and he had hit the children too.
After 2 yrs it got to the point where I thought he would
a) kill or badly harm me
b) harm the kids
c) run away with the kids
d) kill himself

... So I went to the police then a solicitor.

To cut a long story short, I ended up representing myself at court. Access was never in question. I'm not even sure what the case was about I just wanted help and someone to tell him he couldn't behave like that. Even his barrister said he didn't understand what the judge was trying to achieve. His barrister also disagreed with the judge, who would absolutely not let the kids (my only witnesses) give statements or evidence.

Anyways, I lost. On every one of the 11 counts, despite the ex admitting two. Supervised visitation for 6 weeks followed by regular 8 hr contact on a Saturday. That's been the case since last August.

Present Situation
I hate him! I don't trust him for a second!
We have had a few issues, in January after he found out I had gotten married and was pregnant. He made a vague threat towards my new marriage via text. A couple of cases of him trying to assert his authority over me. Stuff I can't even be bothered going in to. Another threat in person towards me a few weeks ago but I found out that last Saturday he hit my daughter!
He dragged her into the car then a few minutes later whilst she was arguing with my other daughter, hit the top of her inner thigh. All because they were bickering over a bottle of lucozade.

It's always her that he has hit. The time he punched her in the stomach because she was nagging to go to the shop (raised in court and not believed) then the time he threw her across a hotel room then started hitting her, because she wouldn't get her pj's on (witnessed by other 2 and raised then disbelieved in court).

Angry exchanges of text followed by me telling him he couldn't see them this week.

I don't know what to do???

Technically I am breaching the court agreement. But if I try to go back to court, the judge won't believe me again?

when I asked the judge to put in the court order that he doesn't hit/smack them, he said I had no right to say that as I had lost the case.

I absolutely cannot afford a solicitor.

I cannot allow my children to be treated like this.

I have no clue what direction to go.

I just wish the ex would die in a car crash :(