Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Virtual Mother and Baby Group

After M was born, I became a toddler group junkie, spending my weekdays popping from one church hall to another, engaging in baby talk whilst drinking endless cups of weak, warm tea.

Luckily a group within the group formed and we bonded for life?!? Moving from the toddler groups to afternoon coffee in our homes, to pre-school and beyond, leaving the children behind and socialising together as "ladies that lunch" or drunken woman allowed out on a rare occasion to the pub.

The plan, 8 weeks ago, when the baby arrived was to yet again, infiltrate the local baby clubs and bag myself some new pals as I currently have zero in my new town.
However, things are slightly different now due to a certain social networking site. And I don't mean that certain social networking site always mentioned on The Jeremy Kyle Show, I mean the one championed by a national treasure (actor, writer, journalist, comedian, television presenter and film director.)  A moody, sulky, teenage brat of a pop singer and a silver-foxed daytime TV presenter. The site with lots of @@@@.

I have managed to acquaint myself with a variety of mums and mums-to-be on this social networking site and spent the months leading up to baby's birth, forming online relationships with them. I've had more interest and celebration from these internet strangers than from my real-world aka Facebook friends.

I now have experienced mums on tap, to quiz on random parenting issues and share my frustrations. First timers, than I can pass on my knowledge to, share birthing stories with and smile as they gush and publicly brag with overwhelming pride, at each new stage their baby enters. Then the newbies with bumps, who are teetering on the edge of a new parenting world and counting the days with excitement and fear, until their bundle arrives.

The world of mummy-blogging goes hand in hand with the @@@@ social networking site and gives a more in depth look into parenting. The darker side. The bits containing the feelings that you don't necessarily share with real friends or family or acquaintances at a toddler group. The bits that scare you or make you sad. That make you feel like a failure or abnormal. The bits that you think no other person will understand.
These posts are more valuable than any parenting handbook, as you have the author within your virtual grasp to express your observations or to probe further. Something that was written by another on the opposite side of the country, who lives in a completely different world to you, not only feels today, exactly as you do, but will happily engage in a conversation about it. Topics ranging from the practical, such as help with breastfeeding to the emotional side, dealing with difficulties that relationships can struggle with, post baby.
Of course, It's not just the negative aspects of being a mother either, but the fun stuff, the best stuff, the stuff that becomes the author's "family memories". When you read these posts, you realise how privileged you are.

The natural progression is your own blog, where you get to rant about every fear or sadness, open the floor on your parenting techniques and to tell other mums of your journey so far.
The best bit about this world is that nobody judges. It's not about your ability to write or your story telling skills, it's just about an understanding. Of being part of that mummy world.

Maybe Mother and Baby groups will become obsolete.

4 comments:

  1. So true!
    As I'm relatively isolated due to my mobility problems I have come to increasing rely on the Twitter mums/mums-to-be support network and mummy-blogs throughout my pregnancy. There's a world of experience, empathy and support out there and I just don't know what I'd do without it.
    I've read posts and blogs that have made me laugh out loud and ones that have made me cry, but I look forward to reading them all knowing I'm getting to know each virtual friend that little bit better.
    Hxx

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  2. @apregnantpause8 June 2010 at 14:59

    Last time I was pregnant I joined up to a mum's website and went to groups after my baby was born. I never really fitted in with either. I was on the outer edge and they were very "clicky" with each other. Joining on Twitter following lots of new mums and mums to be has been different and a much more enjoyable experience. It's informal, friendly and a much more fun experience.

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  3. Couldn't have said it better myself! I really feel part of a community through Twitter x

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  4. Oh I love this blog today...Its exactly how I feel...you have a real 'knack' with words...I've started blogging for the exact reason you describe and while I'm still learning the how to of it all I'm already enjoying it.

    I really agree with you in feeling you can express the 'darker' side virtually. I am glad I found you all on twitter and would never have considered joining a mother and baby group, but love the online forum I've joined and interaction with you online.

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