I'll Be There For You...

Yesterday was much needed but I'm not sure how real it was. Two friends came to visit. My former best friends from a life gone by. One I have always been in contact with and another decided to disown me when I left C.

There was no explanation for her abandonment, no reason that I could put my finger on, but she seemed to treat me with utter contempt and disapproved of my lifestyle after C. Maybe now I am married and having another baby I have become safe to associate with again.

It's extremely isolating here. I don't know anyone at all apart from a few to say hello to. No one to pop round for a coffee, no one to socialise with on a night out. Actually I tell a lie, last summer I went on a night out with a vague acquaintance while the boy was on holiday. It felt slightly weird and a little guilt inducing. She was a female that I had been introduced to by a work colleague, that I invited into a threesome with my then fuckbuddy.

Even though she is female, it still felt slightly wrong going on a night out with her while he was in a different country. Not that anything would have happened and he knew who I was out with, it was strange to say the least.
I didn't continue the friendship with her after the night out as she is even more unhinged than I. Not someone I would care to socialise with when sober. Perhaps after the baby I could go out dancing and drinking with her again, but not at the moment.

His friends are a tad odd. I'm not too sure they know what to make of me and I'm pretty sure they don't hold much interest in being in my company. Every time they visit our home I gatecrash the "party," knowing full well I should really go to bed and leave the boy to have time with his circle, but so in need of conversation that I lurk about instead.

I have a slight plan though. One I shall not go into yet for fear of the boy seeing. Not that it is a naughty plan that needs to be kept away from him. It is being kept away from him as a surprise.
Another plan is to force myself into situations where I have to interact with new people. This is actually fairly easy after having a baby. I shall become a babyclub junkie, introducing myself to anyone that will listen to me, letting all know how new I am to the area and how lonely I am, whilst attempting to be bubbly and entertaining.
This is how I made friends with the original two that came visiting yesterday and it works quite well. Maybe in a few months I will have a new circle here? I hope so because I badly need it.