Why Can't I Own A Normal Creature?

A tiny bundle of fluff that looks like a fox cub, happens to be teething and chewing everything. Mostly my flesh, clothes and shoes.

He is currently inside a faux fur tent, rolling across the floor, like a tumble-weed in the wind. It's difficult for me to be angry with him when his actions are adorable.

Sometimes I wonder why none of our pets are normal? Okay, so the female cat is well behaved. She has a regal air about her and naughty behaviour seems beneath her.
The male cat is bizarre, with a human streak. Very antisocial towards me and goes out of his way to piss me off. His strangest of activities seemed to be while we were away at the wedding. This involved standing on the toilet and peeing off the side. Also crapping in the sink.
He despises the boy giving me attention and last time I was leaning over the toilet spewing, with the boy rubbing my back, he decided to jump on the vomit covered seat to get involved in the action.
The dog now has a fascination in urine, human urine and pops up against the toilet when the boy is standing in front of it to watch.