And We'll All Float On Okay

The outlook for Wednesday is slightly more upbeat, well, not upbeat, as that is an energy I simply don't possess at the moment, but definitely feel a smidgen more positive.
Last night's dreams were erotic and I remember them fairly well. At least they contained the boy in a good way, participating with moi (rather than me being the helpless, betrayed bystander) awakening me to a bizarre orgasm that sort of happened but kind of didn't.
It could have been triggered by us having sex last night which was surprising and much appreciated. He was feeling yucky and had been dozing yet he still managed to reach inside and find a sprinkling of energy to move his fingers over my hip and pull his body close to mine. His fingers touching my hip makes it impossible for me not to smile. Sometimes I have to hide it, as it becomes uncontrollable and I don't want him to see me grinning like a Cheshire cat in sheer relief knowing I am about to be fucked.
All my distresses have been converted into horniness as some form of coping mechanism and I can't think about anything else today apart from depraved filth.
I like me at my dirty worst.
Something fairly primal takes over and I am blinkered towards anything other than sexual pleasure. I go into a predatory mode and these kind of times are dangerous for me, or so they used to be. At least now I am with the boy I am within safety and miscalculated, damn right stupid risks will be avoided. Until the boy arrives home, which undoubtedly he will be too tired or poorly for depravity, I shall have to make do with pornography. Hormones are making it increasingly difficult for conventional porn. Fetish and taboo are the way forward. Even fetishes that are not my bag, are a must. There is nothing more yawn generating that a man and a woman fornicating in an unimaginative way. This girl needs the messiest of dirt.
I could quite happily spend the day blindfolded and bound ready for things to be placed in every orifice. Maybe my head is just tired and my body is ready to take some of the strain for awhile.