This blog has been thoroughly neglected of late and I'm returning to it because I'm feeling down.
Things have been fabulous within my little unit. The kids are well and although they are driving me slightly insane with it being the summer holidays, I can cope with the constant surrounding chaos. Husband and I seem better than ever. I don't know what's changed of late but our sex life is more than healthy again and I'm completely grateful. I'm actually frightened to admit how good it is in case of jinxing things.
But on the other hand I am faced with three new situations.
The first was inevitable. Returning from maternity leave. I have such important decisions to make about whether to go back full time or look for another job. I'm not sure which choice of my long list is the best option financially. I stay in denial but I need to get organised as soon as possible. It's causing me to feel anxious and my sleep is now being affected. I truly don't think I could leave Indigo with a childminder and desperately don't want to go back. I think husband and I are going to have a difficult few hours working everything through. Problem is, he is happy to stay in denial a little while longer too.
The second is my health. My hearing is decreasing rapidly. Finally my tonsils are to be removed and I asked for a hearing test whilst visiting the consultant. Two frequencies I can't hear at all and they suspect I am suffering from a predatory hearing condition which is triggered by pregnancy. The only option given was for a re-test in a few months to see if there was any change. I know it's getting worse. I have to concentrate to distinguish between sounds if I am in a noisy environment. I live in a noisy environment! I am constantly grouchily screaming "what?" at people trying to communicate with me and it's giving me headaches.
The third, is ex-husband-who-hasn't-died-in-a-car-crash.
His maintenance payment bounced this month. I had seen him the day before and he didn't give me the heads up. Daughter had told me that he was losing his rental apartment and moving back in with his parents, so I queried this with him. He looked embarrassed and said it was true, just for a few months to get himself sorted. Surely at this point he could have raised the topic of his lack of funds. But he chose not to. Not only do I find out from the CSA that he has declared himself bankrupt but that he won't be making payments for awhile due to the nature of his employment. When we were together he made me change my bank account into one with his name on, giving him full access. He didn't return the favour and kept his banks separate.
When I left him, he refused to sign the necessary forms to remove his name, so I changed security and continued to use the account. In hindsight, I should have sorted it out then, but I couldn't swap to an identical account as the bank no longer provides them. It's a basic account but it suits me perfectly, plus I couldn't be bothered swapping all direct debits and wage details about.
Today, the account got frozen. With his bankruptcy, it affects joint accounts also.
This morning has been spent alternating between phoning the bank and contacting the team dealing with his bankruptcy. Luckily I have managed to prove the account is solely used by me and saved the funds from it being used on his debt. Sadly, The account is formally closed. It takes 28 days to open a new replica account (which they are doing as a favour.) I now have to transfer EVERYTHING to an even more basic account until it's authorised. Nightmare. I'm going to have to travel to work with the four kids and chance my details on-site.
Thankfully, my fund were released. With no maintenance and no bank account access, god knows how he expected me to finance the kids. When I spoke to the bankruptcy team who are dealing with them, they commented on how underhand his actions were and that in fact, he was advised to give notice on any joint accounts so preparations could have been made. He has achieved a nice bit of sabotage on my life today.
I am debating on not letting the children see him this Saturday as he surely doesn't have the petrol money to get here or the cash to feed them? I haven't even spoken to him yet about any of it because I know he will be stressed and aggressive.
I'm tired, cold and pretty whingy today. I just want to curl up on the sofa with husband. Tomorrow, two friends with their horrible children are coming tomorrow so there will be 10 kids in the house. Two with ADHD and a toddler who has a biting and spitting habit. I haven't got the energy.
Roll on bedtime tonight.
4 days ago