A Rock And A Hard Place

Crying yet again, but not through hormones or impatience this time. I feel, I guess, a bit of a victim today. Like I have been royally taken the piss out of by all. Although, I cant actually see it from the other sides too, which is mighty logical and rational of me considering my current pregnancy brain.

I've been determined not to argue with OH since the wedding and we have pretty much achieved it apart from the odd spat of silence when one of us felt the need to sulk before quickly coming around. I've found it a struggle the last few weeks to bite my tongue on a few occasions, but with the thought of ending all the arguing at the front of my mind, have managed to muddle through.

Maybe it's all about to come to a head.

It's suddenly dawned on me that nobody in my household actually listens to a word I say. In fact, it extends further than my household.

I guess it starts with the mess my home is in. Finding tiny bits of energy to try to clean for the new arrival to have the place trashed within minutes by kids, OH or pets is devastating.

OH complains about the kids making a mess, which is justified, but then when you scan the room as he is having a go at them, there are a hundred items of his that have been dossed. I kept my mouth shut.

The poor kids are having to look after themselves the majority of the time due to my lack of parenting skills whilst feeling ill. I'm grateful they are so independent and surely cannot complain when they leave cereal bowls all over the place or I find newly clean clothes, unworn back in the dirty washing basket. I'm worried that he sees them as a bind and I wish that he could see how some of my friend's children behave so he can appreciate that, although they are messy sometimes, they are pretty great.

I do try to talk to them about being considerate and caring for our home. I just get vacant looks and I can't decide if the are blanking me out because I'm a nag, or they just think I have a nerve to expect any more of them.

The pets are now officially cracking me up. I have cried the last two days because of the dog and today because of the cat.

The kids not being allowed to eat near the laptop which dominates the living room, or in the conservatory, which contains the desktops, cannot use the kitchen table. Despite trying to reclaim this so many times, this has become the cat's domain, where they sleep, eat and drink.

I have cats roaming the bedroom as I try to sleep, waking me regularly through the night. Cat's seem to have access to sleep wherever they please and leave cat hair over EVERYTHING. This seems not to bother OH but stresses me beyond belief.

The dog is just a nightmare, which is completely my fault. I campaigned to get him against my husband's wishes and it's gotten to the point where I think all of the household hate him.
I feel so guilty as he is confined alone to the kitchen for the majority of the day and the only interaction he gets with us, we are screaming at him for his misbehaviour. I don;t know what to do as I surely can't get rid of another pet. But I don't know how long I can cope any more.