Curiosity Will Hopefully Kill The Cat

I'm having such feline issues today. 

Firstly is the baby bird, that I saw panting in the conservatory after Dude, I'm assuming collected from the ground, by the mass of trees that overhang the garden. Carefully picking it up with kitchen roll and lifting it into a lovely prepared new nest (a cut up box of Whiskers pouches and Indie's woolly hat) it gazed up, looking surprisingly alive.

Wrongly, I thought it would be safe in the shed for a few hours, giving it some time to recover and gain some energy. We could call it Steve. But alas, the vision of me feeding and caring for the bird faded as I saw it, screaming, in Dude's mouth once again. Stupid shed door and it's inability to close properly! 

I think the damage is unrepairable now. Dude dropped it as we chased her and it's looking awfully still, lying on it's side in the conservatory again.

Secondly, I remind you of my previous post  about the stray cat we have lurking around and inside our property.

I look out of the window, checking for rain as my favourite faux-fur blanket is hanging on the line, to see the stray cat cocking it's leg against it.

Now this blanket is luscious. It's dark brown and fluffy, like it's made from teddy bear. When lying in it naked, I feel like a cave-woman and I practically spent 2 years curled in it, lying on the floor next to the radiator, listening to Jeff Buckley.

This blanket and I have had moments, special moments. Now it's covered in stray cat piss.

The RSPCA were less than helpful advising me to "print out a paper collar from their website and attach it to the cat, to check if it has an owner." I reassured them that I valued my life and after the noises and disturbed behaviour the stray cat demonstrated when OH tried to befriend it, the act will not be repeated again.

If I post flyers across the village, speak to local residents and "Log what steps you have taken to locate an owner. As long as you can prove that ALL reasonable steps have been taken, and no owner is found, you can then go about finding a loving new home for the cat."

I...ME...I can go about finding a home!

I told them it was attacking my cats and Charlie was losing weight due to the stress. Also that it was a health hazard, the fact it was getting into our home and spraying on the baby's belongs and OH's computer monitor. She told me that MAYBE if I put my name on a waiting list, they would leave a cat trap then try and re-home it.

I'm considering reporting the horrible kids in the street that annoy me, for cat cruelty. The RSPCA would come running then surely, if they thought it was being harmed?

Feline Violation

So angry am I, at the event I have just witnessed.

Several weeks ago during the wee small hours, there was a cat based commotion. Our male tomcat Charlie charged up the landing yowling and banged into our bedroom door. OH and I had been drifting off to sleep but both definitely heard two cats scrapping. When OH opened the bedroom door, Charlie ran in and hid behind the curtains. We had assumed initially that he had been fighting with Dude.

Dude is our female cat. She is a beautiful, slutty, Persian cross and seems to have the attention of every male cat in our road. We have a massive amount of cats in our road and they are seemly all male. Our garden is the equivalent of a meat market nightclub. They all seem to be vying for her affection and we regularly find "gifts" of dead mice about the place.

After further investigation, Dude was nowhere to be found and couldn't have been in the house fighting with Charlie. We suspected another cat. Dude had just had her third litter of kittens. Could another cat come into the house to attack them?
The kittens had been moved from their nest in the living room and placed behind the sofa. Dude eventually came in through the kitchen window. We decided that she must have chased off another cat.

A similar thing happened again. Commotion during the night.

We have always had the odd bout of cat yowling and howling during the night outside our bedroom window followed by scuffling, but it seemed to increase that week.

I have never been a massive fan of Charlie and find him incredibly badly behaved but two weeks ago when I came downstairs to the living room and inhaled...I could have literally killed him.

On a day that the midwife was due, as were two of my friends from home to visit the baby, the whole house smelt of urine. He had sprayed everywhere! The hall, downstairs toilet, landing and living room. All the baby's stuff (carseat, moses basket stand etc) had to be taken away and aired. OH and I had to move every bit of furniture and disinfect it all. We used a full bottle of Dettel on the living room. I had 30 minutes before my friends arrived.

I was totally devastated. The smell is still here 2 weeks later. It's faint, but it's here. I have to apologise and explain to everyone that comes to the door. Charlie and Dude have been banished to the conservatory and as punishment the day after the house spraying, I took them both to be neutered.

The conservatory now stinks of cat urine. My OH and I have been bickering over the cats and If I'm honest, I have come very close to rehoming them. OH has suspicions though, that something untoward is going on. He investigated the origin of the smell in the conservatory and it is coming from his desk. The two PC monitors have sticky stains on and have been sprayed on. I was repulsed.

Sat here Tweeting I have just glimpsed through the patio window into the conservatory and seen Charlie wandering across the computer desk. Then I saw him squat near the monitor and his leg slowly rise. As I feel the rage building in me (I cannot move to chase him as Indie is asleep on my knee) It dawns on me that Charlie is looking usually chunky.

It wasn't him. It wasn't him that has just violated my home with that disgusting smell. It was his doppelgänger. A cat that we have seen floating about every now and then that looks incredibly like him.

I sit in shock and just watch as the cat mooches out of the conservatory door into our garden. 5 minutes later, Charlie and Dude skulk in and sniff the area that has just been sprayed. They look at each other then flop onto the cushion on the floor in a deflated fashion. They must feel so violated too.

I feel so guilty!

I shall make it up to them!

I feel so angry!

I shall get revenge and halt this doppelgänger!